The hardest person to blame for our results is ourselves. Before I began my entrepreneurial career in 2007 I was in a constant state of blame of everyone else, but me.
It was my friends fault, my families fault my job’s fault, it was God’s fault. I was stuck in life because of everyone else but me. Eventually I realized I was stuck in life because of my own choices, and I took responsibility.
However, I ran into another road block because now I wasn’t forgiving myself. You may take responsibility for your life, but are you still playing victim?
Learn from today’s Wounded Ego Mask and enjoy!
THE VICTIM
The Victim is the poster child for “Woe is me.” “I can’t believe that happened to me again” is their mantra. They have chosen the painful path of the powerless prey unable to get out of the way of abuse, whether it originates from others or from themselves.
They can sniff out a bad situation and then, instead of avoiding it, walk right into it to ensure they can wear their crown of victimhood for yet another span of time. The Victim can rarely see how they participate in the creation of what you or I might consider unfortunate circumstances.
Being wounded at a young age, and more often than not severely victimized by someone they loved, they sealed their fate with the disheartening and life-draining belief that they are helpless and powerless and that life is a painful place.
The attention they seek from being victimized becomes their underlying commitment. Not feeling worthy of being loved for anything besides the pity they conjure up from being victimized, they are in a constant state of chaos and feel helpless to do anything about their bad luck.
Pity is something they both love and abhor. They love it because it gives them the much needed attention they won’t give themselves, and they abhor it because they live in a constant state of stress and anxiety over the adverse circumstances that seem to follow them everywhere.
And just incase you’re thinking that they are all limping around looking frumpy, wounded, and beaten down, you should know that The Victim is sometimes disguised as a high-functioning successful person who appears to have it all; however, the quiet aching inside them robs them of the joy of their success. “Poor me” is the stamp that every Victim wears across their forehead.
THE VICTIM’S SHAME
Unlovable, unworthy of happiness, helpless, sad, powerless, resigned
THE VICTIM’S CHALLENGE
The Victim’s challenge is to take responsibility for the way in which they have participated, consciously or unconsciously, in the unfortunate events of their lives. By claiming ownership of what they do have control over, they begin to see themselves as the designer of their own destiny.
To penetrate the mask of victimhood, The Victim needs to be honest about what they get out of wearing this crown and then decide for themselves that the payoff is no longer worth the cost.
– Debbie Ford
Can you see it now? Either in others or yourself?
If we walk the path of The Victim, we’ll always be giving our power away and not taking full responsibility of our lives.
ry
Thanks, Ryan. I only just recently understood the importance of this via a Tony Robbins audio where he explains that even though it feels like we are owning up to our own faults by blaming ourselves, it ultimately just tears us down. Instead, if in fact whatever situation is due to something you did, he says to just recognize where you can change your pattern. This allows you to forgive yourself and move forward without just turning yourself into yet another thing to blame. This kind of blew my mind because I was the queen of blaming myself! Now I can see how that’s not useful, either. We can only be useful to the world if we begin with unconditional love for ourselves 🙂
Lol love it. I was in the same boat. 😉 It’s an interesting place taking responsibility but still blaming yourself for everything! So jealous you got to experience AR!
Great post – victimhood is something many of us have or go through, when we can literally step up to the plate and accept responsibility for our lives no matter what – all the great, good, bad and ugly – without beating ourselves up in the process, things can shift – it can be easy especially if we just love ourselves no matter what,love is powerful. Thx Ryan
Love it Jodi totally agree 🙂