I’m here in my home town of Vancouver, BC Canada sitting in a Starbucks writing to you on a Monday morning.
I’m drinking my Green Tea and thinking of the 3 Invisible Signs that keep business owners stuck, frustrated and confused on how to grow their business.
Fear Of Rejection. Fear Of Rejection. Fear Of Rejection.
Okay, so maybe just one thing. Lol. But it’s TRUE right?
In my first year of business this was really hard for me. I’ve learned to “manage” it now, since I can guarantee you it will never go away.
I used to think…
“If I talk to that person about my business, they probably won’t take me seriously because I’m not making much money myself!”
“What if this person thinks I’m selling them, and the conversation gets weird!”
I started digging into why this happens, and what I can do to overcome it.
If you’re fearing rejection, it’s stemming from something deeper than just someone rejecting your business.
You’re really fearing them rejecting you.
Like the time you wanted to ask out that guy/ or girl and they shot you down. OUCH.
Like the time you had a great idea in class at high school, raised your hand and shared your idea only to have the entire class and teacher laugh at you. STUPID IDEA.
Like the time you wanted the brand new Barbie doll or GI Joe as a child and your parents told you, “No we can’t afford it.” I NEVER GET WHAT I WANT.
Are you starting to understand?
You’re walking around with an incredible business to change peoples lives while dragging behind you five suitcases packed with the fears of rejection from your past.
Why?
Because somebody shot you down.
These are the invisible signs that you fear rejection.
I call it our shadow beliefs. The great Carl Jung said, “the shadow is all the parts of ourselves we would rather not be.”
In other words, you’ll avoid doing the “work” to sign-up people into your business because of the rejection from your painful past.
Maybe you started your business because unconsciously you felt “Success will bring you happiness.”
The truth is, until AND ONLY until you learn to dig into these invisible signs of your fear of rejection you’ll struggle to change your life.
Invisible Sign #1
You’re A People Pleaser.
If someone rejects you, then chances are it will shatter your world of that person liking you. Removing your people pleasing status quo.
So the voice goes off in your head, DO NOT TALK TO THEM ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS!!
Stop this. I have plenty of people that hated and rejected me at first. Now they love me and can’t thank them enough for helping them get life changing results.
Invisible Sign #2
You’re The Nice Guy/Girl
You have the facade of being super nice. Never pushing people, never getting into confrontations, and avoiding challenging conversations.
Life is a bowl full of cherries!
If you’re doing this, you may be afraid of people seeing you as anything but NICE.
Challenge people and stop being so nice. Don’t mistake being nice, with caring. You can still care for people, but challenge them on why their broke, stuck, unhealthy and frustrated.
If you’re feeling this, you’ve likely had an experience in your past of voicing your opinion only to be shutdown by someone you cared about.
Invisible Sign #3
Living In Your Fear Story
You’re projecting into the future all the possibilities of NEGATIVE and PAINFUL emotionally charged feelings that could happen IF you bring your business up.
Notice I said IF. Because it hasn’t happened yet. You’re projecting the outcome before it’s even happened.
I find this most common inside our industry.
Go in with a “neutral” outlook. I don’t like to go in with a negative or even positive potential outcome.
I go in with a neutral outcome because this allows me to not be attached to a specific yes or no as to whether they’ll sign up.
You’ll experience A LOT less of an emotional roller coaster ride with this approach.
Well my time is up at Starbucks and my butt is sore from sitting! Lol
I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts on your biggest take away.
I’m writing this to you just hours before speaking in front of 50+ business owners about mindset. The catch? I found out I’m training these amazing people just 24 hours ago!
This got me thinking.
What is my intention heading into this training. Am I focused on serving and helping others, or am I focused on my own fears of rejection?
If you’re anything like me, I’m always concerned if people will like me. In fact, this is something I’ve struggled with for years inside business.
It’s a people pleasing mentality surrounding the fear of rejection.
“What if these people don’t vibe with me and they don’t like me?”
“What if it’s awkward because I just don’t have enough knowledge yet?”
These are the kinds of fears that keep us broke, stuck and frustrated with life. Because we’re not focused on other people. We’re focused on “I”.
So I would love to know, will this help you?
If you take you’re focus off “I” and onto solving other people’s problems will that make an impact in your business?
Remember that the most successful entrepreneurs of the world solve problems.
In Gratitude,
Ry
PS: If you enjoyed the video be sure to share this video with your friends!
I asked this question on Facebook the other day. The common thread is the two things people worry about the most is money and their future. Otherwise, lack of money, and uncertainty with their future.
There’s this little act called the Power Of Intention that completely changed my life back in 2007. In fact, before then I was a mess. I constantly thought about all the things I didn’t want in my life. It was habitual, but I didn’t know how to stop it. In fact, I thought it was normal to worry about things. I had no idea I COULD create my own life.
So I’m curious….
If you set an intention and created a plan, where would you be in five years?
2018, what is your lifestyle like?
Don’t fall into the trap of believing you don’t have the power or courage to change your life, because you absolutely do.
I started marketing through Social Media in 2006. My motto was, “fake it till you make it.” Heard of it before? Well, it was an absolute fail. Mostly because the people who do the best through Social Media are the ones who are the most authentic. And I was far from. Simply because I believed other people wouldn’t receive the real me well.
After a few months I felt like a failure. But from the outside I looked like a massive success. Still though, throughout the day I could feel all of my shadows eating at me, telling me to push forward and continue to hide the person nobody knew about except Kris Britton.
It’s great lessons to learn along the path of success. I explain more detail in today’s video.
Quote Of The Day
“Your life will be transformed when you make peace with your shadow. The caterpillar will become a breathtakingly beautiful butterfly. You will no longer have to pretend to be someone you’re not. You will no longer have to prove you’re good enough. When you embrace your shadow you will no longer have to life in fear. Find the gifts of your shadow and you will finally revel in all the glory of your true self. Then you will have the freedom to create the life you have always desired. ― Debbie Ford
So I’ve included a little QUIZ for you. 😉
Choose one of the following answers that’s best suited for who you truly are. Please answer TRUTHFULLY! I’ll be using this info for further marketing purposes too.
Imagine that your life is a house with many rooms. Some rooms you like, some you feel ashamed of. How many people do you allow to see all your rooms?
A. Nobody
B. One signifigant person – a spouse, lover, best friend.
C. A small handful of people who know me that well
D. There are many people in my life who know me that well
Leave your answer by commenting below….
In total Gratitude,
Ryan
PS: If you could also let me know how you’re liking the new content and blog??
Can you believe they said that to me? Haters…Got Some? Of course you do.
Unless you’re “perfect” you definitely have people that simply don’t believe in you. If you’re anything like me, there’s always that ONE person who just doesn’t.
Did anyone NOT believe that you would be successful with your business?
Yeah, call me when you’re making money and I’ll do business with you.
You’re going to be a millionaire? Pffffft OK. Good Luck.
Maybe you should just get a real job.
Think about it. WHY would people say such mean and nasty things to you? Not only do I answer that in today’s video, but I also give you deep understanding about why it makes you feel those nasty feelings…
I’m curious…
When someone negative said you couldn’t be successful, how did you react internally?
I‘ll show you how successful I will become
Write down a list of all the people who said NO to your business (my GOD, I actually did this with my first company!!)
Engage a success shadow that says “I’m not worthy, and an EGO that screams I’m going to PROVE I am worthy!”
Remember, to ask…Am I growing my business for a higher purpose than myself OR am I attempting to prove to others who didn’t believe in me?
Learn to embrace your shadow, for whatever you fuel with darkness only remains dark. You may feel you’re winning, but you’ll only lose in the end.
